Shoes on the Side of the Expressway

WHY are there always shoes on the side of the expressway?

I spend a lot of time driving long distances along the expressway and I can’t help but notice the number of shoes I see strewn along the shoulder.  I really just don’t understand why they are there.

First I have to ask myself, “who threw the shoe out of the moving vehicle?”  Did a driver in an extreme case of road rage throw his own shoe at another car?  Or was someone so pissed off at a fellow passenger that they ripped their shoe off their feet and threw it out the window?

I also have to ask myself about the whereabouts of the shoe’s match.  There is never a pair of shoes… just one.  If you’re going to throw one, why not throw the other.  What are you going to do with one shoe?!

Regardless, I’m pretty sure that throwing a shoe out of a car traveling at 70 mph is never the answer (and not really safe or sane).

PDA in College

WHY do college students insist on PDA in hallways and outside of classrooms?

First off, I’m strongly against most forms of public displays of affection because no one wants to watch that.  It is like listening to a “you hang up first! no, you hang up first!” phone conversation–cruel and unusual punishment.

If you’re not already living together then chances are you probably spend most nights together.  And if you haven’t noticed, this isn’t high school.  Feelin’ horny?  Stay home.  Your mother isn’t here making sure your attending classes.  I’m at school to learn and I don’t like to witness soft core porn on my way to class.  And I really don’t appreciate having to dodge couples humping each other up against the wall in order to get through the hallways.

Boyfriend Tracking

WHY is does this Facebook ad even exist?  And if online advertisements are really personalized to fit the user’s interests, WHY did this show up on my homepage?

I’m not really sure what this ad is even advertising.  I obviously didn’t “like” it and I also didn’t click it to get more information.  I imagine it is some kind of GPS locating, although I’m not really sure how possible that is.

I’m assuming that the only reason this showed up on my Facebook homepage is because I am a girl.  Or maybe because I’m a girl in a relationship.  But regardless, this company definitely missed their target market.

It is things like this that gives girls a bad name.  I know there are some crazies out there but we’re not all psycho girlfriends, promise.

Sky Mall

WHY does SkyMall even exist?

My mom just got back from a business trip and as my big gift she gave me the SkyMall catalog that she stole off the airplane.  I am grateful for this, however, because it has given my roommate and I endless hours of enjoyment.  The Sky Mall catalog is like a comedy of sorts.  I just can’t believe that people take SkyMall and its products seriously.

Apparently SkyMall only exists for the marketing of useless but genius ideas and for the entertainment of the masses.

The 5 Most ridiculous SkyMall Products Money Can Buy by cracked.com

The Best/Worst of SkyMall by Urlesque

Although, I did love the full-page layout dedicated to Harry Potter collectibles!

Pink SUV

I saw this in my college’s student lot this morning.

WHY did someone have their Ford Escape painted to look like someone threw up Pepto Bismol all over?

They used to make pink cars back in the 50s.  Ever wonder why they don’t do it anymore?  Because it looks ridiculous.  I bet this girl is in a sorority.  Or even better, I bet this girl owns the car.

Facebook Thinks I’m Scene

This was one of ads that recently showed up on my Facebook home page.

WHY are self-shot and mirror pictures considered modeling?  WHY would anyone pay for them?  WHY is “Modeling Agency” capitalized?  WHY is this girl wearing so much eye makeup?  If only relevant ads are supposed to show up, WHY did Facebook choose this one for me?

I believe Facebook got me confused with some 13-year old scene girl who has a million friends on MySpace and is “friends” with every band because only someone that stupid would believe and/or “like” this ad.

Drunk Girls and Heels Don’t Mix

This picture was taken during tailgating for home opener football game on a college campus.  It was 90 some degrees.

WHY are you wearing boots when it is 90+ degrees outside?  WHY are you wearing boots while tailgating?  WHY are you wearing high heeled boots while incredibly intoxicated?  WHY did you still think it was okay to “dance” on the tailgate of a truck when you’ve had far too much to drink and you’re wearing high heels?

First off, I don’t care who you are, you should never be wearing knee-high leather boots when it is 90 degrees outside.  As a general rule though, if you’re going to wear a spaghetti strap shirt then boots are out of the picture.

Secondly, high heels and obliterated girls don’t usually go well together.  You try to dance but it turns into: stumble, stumble, fall, stumble, fall, roll around on the ground.  Heels make you seem 10x more drunk than you actually are.

Thirdly, as it shows in the picture, when you dress like this and act like this no one wants to be any where near you.

Advice:  Make choosing an outfit your pre-pregame activity.

Use Caution with you Facebook Statuses

WHY would you even be friends with your boss on Facebook?  Do you really want them to see your drunk pictures from this weekend’s work party your boss wasn’t invited to?  WHY would you post something negative about your boss?  Don’t you understand that it’s the internet and information (and insults) travels at the speed of light?

I don’t have any answers to these questions.  All I can say is that this girl is just plain idiotic and I’m glad her boss ripped her a new one.

Monopoly Violence Makes the News

I read this in the newspaper today…

WHY do people take Monopoly to that level?  WHY did someone waste their time researching and interviewing for this blurb?  WHY did this even make it to print?

As to why someone would take Monopoly to this level–because they have nothing better to do with life.  This is what happens when the unemployment rate in Michigan skyrockets.  We need more jobs in Michigan so Monopoly violence and fatalities can be reduced.

I didn’t pay to see this guy’s back.

WHY do people think it is okay to block the view of everyone else?  WHY is it okay to be the only person standing in an entire field of people?  WHY does this man aspire to be a brick wall?  WHY did it not bother this guy that he was blocking the view of fireworks that people and their children waited hours to see?

WHY didn’t I yell “down in front!” since no one else did?  Because as much as I love confrontation, I’m still just a skinny little girl that needs to learn to control her mouth.