Shoes on the Side of the Expressway

WHY are there always shoes on the side of the expressway?

I spend a lot of time driving long distances along the expressway and I can’t help but notice the number of shoes I see strewn along the shoulder.  I really just don’t understand why they are there.

First I have to ask myself, “who threw the shoe out of the moving vehicle?”  Did a driver in an extreme case of road rage throw his own shoe at another car?  Or was someone so pissed off at a fellow passenger that they ripped their shoe off their feet and threw it out the window?

I also have to ask myself about the whereabouts of the shoe’s match.  There is never a pair of shoes… just one.  If you’re going to throw one, why not throw the other.  What are you going to do with one shoe?!

Regardless, I’m pretty sure that throwing a shoe out of a car traveling at 70 mph is never the answer (and not really safe or sane).

Drunk Girls and Heels Don’t Mix

This picture was taken during tailgating for home opener football game on a college campus.  It was 90 some degrees.

WHY are you wearing boots when it is 90+ degrees outside?  WHY are you wearing boots while tailgating?  WHY are you wearing high heeled boots while incredibly intoxicated?  WHY did you still think it was okay to “dance” on the tailgate of a truck when you’ve had far too much to drink and you’re wearing high heels?

First off, I don’t care who you are, you should never be wearing knee-high leather boots when it is 90 degrees outside.  As a general rule though, if you’re going to wear a spaghetti strap shirt then boots are out of the picture.

Secondly, high heels and obliterated girls don’t usually go well together.  You try to dance but it turns into: stumble, stumble, fall, stumble, fall, roll around on the ground.  Heels make you seem 10x more drunk than you actually are.

Thirdly, as it shows in the picture, when you dress like this and act like this no one wants to be any where near you.

Advice:  Make choosing an outfit your pre-pregame activity.

Crocheted “Hip Hop” Hats

WHY would someone want to wear one of these “hip hop” hats?  And WHY would someone pay $6.95 for a pattern you can probably find online for free?

I don’t have answers for these questions but I sure hope those girls were paid well… that cover is embarrassing.